September 10, 2014

#gensadvice // Having a Long Distance Relationship at University

Picture: Pinterest 

One of the hardest things about going to university is feeling you can't go because of your relationship with someone from back home. This affects a lot of students every year worrying about whether or not progressing into a long distance relationship can work. I thought that I would do a blog post about my experiences, opinions and advice of LDR's. To make this easier, I've decent to write this in a Q&A style. I don't want it to look like I am waffling on as there is a lot to cover in terms of this topic. 

My experience of long distance relationships. 

When I was 18 and at the age when everyone was going to University, I had been with a guy about a year and half. He decided to go to University and I wasn't ready to go but we decided to make it work. When he went to university, things changed. Our relationship was not strong enough to handle the distance, even though it was only about an hour and half away from each other. So we broke up. 

A few years later I decided to go to University and I started seeing my current boyfriend from home before I went. A few months into me being there we started to become a couple. My boyfriend currently lives at home and with me being at uni, the distance is 4 1/2 hours away. We have been together about 9 months now and I've gone through my 1st year of University and still stayed with him. 

What is your advice on LDR's?

Basically, the advice to this is: Don't feel like you failed because your long distance relationship didn't work. I believe that you have to be in the right frame of mind to make it work and it is the person you are with that will either make or break the relationship. It is a lot of hard work but if that person is prepared to fight for it, than you will be fine. But just remember that if you tried it and it didn't work, at least you tried than not tried at all. Not all of them work and that is okay, you are not the only one. My first one didn't work out but my second one is working so just be positive about it and make sure you put the effort in. 

What is really important in a LDR?

I can not stress this enough.. COMMUNICATION. So many relationships have failed due to lack of so make sure you speak to each other in some way every day. Whether it is texting, calling, skyping, facetiming, make sure you speak to each other regularly. Also, set yourself a routine. That way you can look forward to speaking to them.

Try and have a set TIME where you are not going to be in a long distant relationship anymore. That way you will be feel better about the whole thing and you know it won't be forever. Also make sure that you both want the same thing and that is for you two to have a future together.

See long distance as an OPPORTUNITY for both of you. You won't appreciate living together until you've lived apart. Instead of thinking the long distance will pull you two apart, think that it will make the relationship stronger and pull you both closer together.

BE HONEST. There is nothing like being so far away from your partner and not feeling like you can not trust them. Talk about how you are feeling. Let them help you and support you through what ever you are doing.

PLAN the next time you are going to see them. If you know when you are next going to visit them or they are going to visit you, the pain of a long distance relationship will become a lot easier and you have that time to look forward to of you being together again.

AVOID talking too much. You don't need to do more just to compensate not seeing them all the time when you are at home. Set the right amount of time for both of you and you will be fine.

STAY positive. Yes, not being around them all the time is painful, but knowing that there is light at the end of the tunnel will make it so much easier for you. If you inject positive energy into your relationship, then positive attitude will be released back.

I hope this post has helped to anyone who is going to Uni and going to be having a long distance relationship or even if you are not at uni but you are in one, I hope this helps you too!

Are you in a long distance relationship? What do you do to make it work?


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